Wednesday was not an awesome day. Thursday was marginally better and today….well, today is still up for grabs. The reason Wednesday wasn’t awesome, downright atrocious, in fact, was because I tweaked my back something fierce and I haven’t ever experienced such acute pain in my life.
It started out at the warehouse where I was returning a case that had been mis-shipped. I have picked up many cases of wine in my time, this was no different, except this time, I got the case up about 3 inches before I froze in pain. A co-worker was also at the warehouse, parked in front of me and saw me stop dead in my tracks, balancing the case on the edge of my car. He grabbed it while I tried to process what had just happened. The pain was so fierce my eyes started to water but I thought maybe I just needed to stretch it out/walk if off. That plan failed. Miserably.
Something in the middle of my lower back was knocked off kilter but I thought maybe it was a knot that needed to be worked out but alas, as I got in my car to leave, it got worse. By the time I met my boss, the words “we have a problem” were uttered through tears of pain.
I distinctly remember having a conversation with him when I first started in which he asked me if I was a crier. I vehemently told him no, I definitely do not cry in public. Come to find out, I lied. Sorry Mike.
A trip to the doctor ensued where they gave me really good pills that knocked me out so I wouldn’t have to feel the excruciating pain that was slowly taking over my lower core.
I should take a moment to comment on the fact that my boss was pretty cool through the whole thing. He chauffeured me to the ensuing trip to the doctor’s office and filled out all the paper work for me then shuttled me home and made sure I was settled. He tried to tell me jokes, which ironically, made me hurt more because did you know that when you laugh, you use your whole core? Yea, you definitely do. I haven’t even sneezed properly since this incident for fear of sharp pain and my back locking up again.
So I got home around 3:15 and realized I was still in my work clothes aka not comfy clothes. So I figured I would make my way to bathroom to get my sweats on. It took me 45 minutes to get from the couch to on all fours in front of the couch. No joke. That trip was preceded by just breaking down and sobbing, partially due to the sheer frustration of not being mobile but mostly because it freakin’ HURT. It was not one of my finer moments. I’m really glad my neighbor wasn’t home to hear the groans of pain that came with every move I made.
Once I clawed (literally) my way to the back of my apartment, I couldn’t figure out how to contort my body in order to get pants on. I leaned in the bathroom for another solid 30 minutes trying to figure out how to make this happen, starting, then immediately stopping when my back spasm-ed, taking deep breaths that was similar to what I can only assume would be Lamaze breathing techniques.
Sleeping was a neat trick the past couple nights too. I am a stomach sleeper, only during this pain extravaganza, being on my stomach bent my back in an uncomfortable position so that was out. I tried my side, which was fine once I actually got into position. But there was no rolling over. The first night, if I wanted to change positions, I actually had to haul myself out of bed and take a different angle getting into bed. It was slightly absurd but I couldn’t move in bed.
Fast forward to today, in which my boss came to pick me up and take to the doctor (since my car was still on some side street Uptown where I had to leave it since I was unable to drive). The doctor told me to stay on my meds and to come back on Monday. I’m still incredibly sore but I have more movement than I did, which is a plus since I’m running out of food.
In conclusion, I do not recommend hurting your back. It’s the worst pain. Ever.